If someone were to ask me, “What is self-love?” I would reply, “A growing ability to be true and compassionate to yourself. For it is only when you are filled with the love of who you are that you can share this gift with the world.”

To be true to ourselves is a lifetime journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. It is building on our unique gifts and interests, while accepting without shame our weaker aspects.

When two people enter into marriage, they often share the familiar vow, “I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to live and cherish: from this day forward.” This vow takes into account that life is… well, life. It is a journey of varied experience.

Self-love is the ability to provide this same promise to not abandon ourselves when times are difficult. Self-love involves a daily cultivation of a truly satisfying, fulfilling, and rewarding relationship with yourself. The result of self-love is not a perfect life, unending happiness, or the creation of the perfect human persona that everyone accepts, admires, and validates. Instead, self-love is the ability to summon a compassionate feeling into yourself no matter what you experience in life.

Connection with Self

How do we do tap into inner compassion and love during those times that are worse, poorer, and sicker? In part, loving yourself includes tending to fundamental needs such as physical movement, eating, sleep, and self-care. It is self-loving to get a massage, light some candles, or take a bubble bath. However, self-love is something much grander.

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