Today I go to my first evaluation for ssi.  I got shot down for ssdi, but I knew that would happen since I probably have not even worked six months of my life.

The evaluation is about my right arm which I hurt really bad (Im talking a month in the hospital and seven different surgeries bad) while attempting to kill myself a few years ago.  The only problem with it is that my fingertips are permanently numb.  I know this does not make me disabled, schizophrenia does.  But they want to have it evaluated anyways.

Im real nervous about this in that what if a label of "not disabled" due to my arm cancels out everything else and I lose before I even started to play.

I have drank so much coffee that I had to puke it up cuz it was making me sick.  It tastes the same coming up as it does going down.