i am so F ING tired! we need to stay strong so stay strong! i am weak and tired and not living! empty shell husk! then i just have to wait or i just have to sleep or i just have to eat or i just have to scream and it's better for a minute or two. and all theese fucking assholes! and i apologize but  YES fucking assholes.and my answer is so fucking what but still what am i waiting for and no i really don't give a flying fuck. making tiny progress only to slide back to before i started. big crybaby. big spoiled when there are so many in the world who would be grateful to take my place. they would know what to do with it! no i will never be fucking better no i will never be whatever it is that it takes to live in this place. fuck you.fuck you fuck you fuck you!

yes i feel better, thanks.