Time Flies, but it doesn't need a reason worthwhile:

  Here I am, because I want to be here. Not because life hit a low point. I'm kinda inbetween high on my potential, yet standing looking thinking "what the fuck?" Where do I begin? To I debate picking up the pieces or starting over, like a made for TV Movie starring actors and actresses iroincally starting over, starting a new, picking-up the careers, or settling in the Made For Tv movie scene. I've made it this far, this is close enough. Options. What happened to PBS Follow your dreams happiness?

   I guess success falls within the atitude of perception. In the eyes of our own beholder, us. Yet your parents might tell you different. Be all you want to be, but be something! Anything that doesn't make you live hear past age 24 or less. 18 & 1 second and age works to! My parents were actually as supportive as the could be, and as the system allowed. Though like parents naturally, vs. my mental illness, sometimes WW3 didn't need to be predicted. It already began. I had the 24 spot on moving out, and I'm greatfull to my a parents for be loving, in a situation where honestly they had no idea what they were doing.

   No one ever said parenting was easy, but those books on how to raise your child, left out a few chapters mental illness children.

   So my case in point? Where am I, who am I, where the hell did this world come from as I forgot what its like to notice it without distorting thinking. More importantly, what would I like to do. I have time to decide to my last breath I guess. Though sometimes I don't mind if that was tommorrow. And sometimes I do. I'm in a period of inner debate, while I do my laundry and smile to people at the laundry. That might think I'm friendly and cheery, not knowing I love the idea of being hit a car sometimes.

   Awfull to think write? Well, I see your point, but I value mine because I'm in my head. (most of the time) Made for TV actors need work to. There doing something with thier lives! So if ever..............maybe they'll make a movie out of my life. Yet it wouldn't be about me, I'd be some side alternative story effecting the life of someone worthwhile. Like my parents. Maybe I'll be one of those two birds I often here about. A actor will get a job, and I'll regret my wish when I relieze being dead is lonely, pointless, and so bad I'll won't even notice it because I'm dead.

   So I'm thankfull I'm alive! I have the oppurtunity to do something. And so do you. I guess in the end, watching Seasame Street paid off.