It's really crazy when I know that I'm not even doing badly, but I'm still afraid that I am. Had an interview this morning about a new job I'm trying to get...made $20 off of the interview/hour of work, so I got some late lunch/dinner...yum. Since I ate, I've been feeling better,  but I dunno. I was so discouraged this morning because a coworker of mine is talking shit about how his hours were "cut" when I started working here, just trying to get everyone to feel sorry for him, but members at my work have decided to rally behind him, and so there's this sheet of paper with all this good stuff about him written on it and signed by a bunch of people who I was feeling are my friends, but what really pisses me off is I signed on to do two days a week when I first started here, and that was what we all expected would happen, but then he quit right after I got here, so of course I took over his hours, and now he's talking shit about me because I have more hours than he does, although he's been here much longer. Well, boo-hoo, stupid motherfucker, you are being a piece of shit asshole shitfucking bitch because you quit your stupid job and THEN came back and expected everything to be the same. The thing is, I know that the rest of my coworkers totally support me and are behind me 100%, but it isn't just about my coworkers, it's mainly about the members who come in who I've become (I think) good friends with over the past few months, and it drives me insane that there's this person that they feel they can trust just completely undermining me and telling them bad things about me. I guess I need to have more confidence in myself and in my friends, but the fact of the matter is that I don't trust people and I really don't have self-confidence, so I'm kinda fucked in that sense. Fuck it all, man! And here I thought I was feeling better.

I got sleep last night. It's all good. I'm getting out of here. Gotta lead a meditation group at 6.