Some days I feel like I'm too dependent on my "support system."

Some days I feel like the world is letting me down.

Some days I want to run away.

It's hard to give other people advice all day, all the while realizing that you're a total fucking hypocrite because you don't live by the amazingly great advice you're giving them.

I can tell people "you've gotta live for yourself, not anyone else around you, fuck that, you need to do what you do right now"

...and then turn around and do things and then don't feel like they've truly been DONE until I tell a certain person...

...and then wait up for 8 hours after getting off work to tell them because I expect them to call like they promised they would and I don't have their phone number (and it's also a pride issue, I'm not gonna lie)...

...and then they don't call...

...and I don't call for the reasons mentioned above...

...and I'm miserable while I sleep, have nightmares, and I'm miserable when I wake up...

...and I lash out at my dog for digging in the litter box to find a tasty morsel that just came out of one of the cats' asses...

...and she forgives me for yelling at her in her happy doggie way...

...and I just feel like shit about who and what I am and how I act and what I do...

That's enough of that. Fucking bullshit, all of it. I just want to run away and start a new life...but that won't change shit!