crossposted from roll call:

i am going to see my tele-doc. well i am going to try to approach them with compassion somehow...i get very distraught over this. i will have compassion for my self too. at least she is a meds minimalist and does some integrative medicine and sort of works with me that way...maybe they set me up with her because they knew this about me, doing integrative medicine already. i don't know, forced medication is a human rights issue to me, but within this situation, the doc is better than other situations...she cuts out a lot of the classic drug cocktail. it is just this metabolism thing i think i need to sort out. i gotta be there soon, so see you later...here is a trippy video i did:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoPnwJXlHrA

sort of psyche-pagan celebration of life...and ode to jupiter for saving our butts maybe. but did you hear about that asteroid? some sort of divine protection maybe...who knows...mad love, n

-------later--------

i will add this on here from somewhere else...

it went well with the doctor because i made her laugh and did not do any punning and no sarcasm actually this time...she thinks i am doing well despite the fact that i feel like death warmed over and have cramps from hell.  i have some natural comedic timing. it is hard to see sometimes...i used to do a lot of musical comedy. those were so silly tho for the most part. i am often very accidentally funny tho.

i am accidentally psychic too. i don't know what i am saying when i make some sense to someone psychically. i have no idea usually, how it relates to someone personally, sometimes do not know what i am saying. sometimes i am right on, sometimes i am off, so i am very unreliable as a psychic too but when it happens, it is sort of intense sometimes if someone tells me when it happens.

the compassion approach worked. she is very pretty and actually kind of warm hearted even tho she is on tv. i don't think she likes the court order thing really so much...she means to help, she means good intent. it is going to be ok...eventually i will have that thing dropped...it does not hang over my neck like an albatross so much right now. i am not sure if that is the right analogy.

my time line is healing. time to me now seems it can flow back and forward like waves, time waves and there are tides in ages or something, and an ebb and flow back and forth maybe of energy into the past and back to the future. many ways to look at it, but i see this flow, going back and healing the past...and the future i saw healing too.