here i was supposed to post about my dream icarus- but i'll have to take a shower and get out of the house and come back to it later.  hey- i can't post on the discussions board.  i just contacted an administrator, but incase an administrator reads this before that email, coud you advise?

 i'm not the most articulate, or the most organized, or whatever else i'd like to be.  and when i say not the most, i mean not very much at all.

over the years i have had SO MANY vague ideas for things that i would like to see happen to provide a space for people whose constitution will not allow for them to settle comfortably in an environment that is structured to minimize human potential at the whim of the strange entity that is the oppresive collective fearful notion that without a ruling system humanity would not flourish. 

why did i feel a space was needed?  because  I needed it.  because when a child looks out at their world and says to those around her "there's something wrong with this," and is met with dismissal- sometimes it breaks their constitution.  sometimes they don't thrive on their convictions alone.  sometimes their convinctions are beaten out of them- and that's what the common space is currently set up to achieve, isn't it? 

and so what?  so survival of the fittest, some would say.  that's what makes exceptional people- the revolutionaries we pedestalize (who says your words are better than mine?) were the ones who were able to climb out of the muck- the ones all we gasping stragglers haven't earned the right to be.  we are the proof that humantiy is weak and that every now and then only a shining star will come along and do some good for the rest of us.

there are a couple things wrong with this however.  my immediate beef is that because i was not one of those shining stars, i'm in severe pain.  that system didn't do a thing for me- and it didn't do a thing for all the others like me.  another problem is- if change is to happen- everyone with the inclination...

the rest of this blog is not going to make ANY sense- i'm just leaving it so i can edit it later...

i know it doesn't always, for me it did.  for me, i grew up desperately trying to indoctrinate the advice of those who fed and loved me along with the ones who gave me my A's and F's. i don't think i'll get into what that advice was or the silent advice that led me towards my own silence.

because i didn't thrive on my convictions.  i didn't have anyone or anywhere to really nurture