"HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet;Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."

William Butler Yeats

Yesterday was been rough on me, emotional, kinda depressed, I've been crying, sad and overwhelmed by everything that is normal. The dogs kept me going.  My sweeties, all 15 of them! no I don't own 15 dogs but i walked 15 dogs today. 

My dobe just laid down next to me and put her head on my foot, she knows I've had a hard day.  I love my dogs. They always know just what to do.  I got a text this morning it reminded me of a life i had once where i could play hooky and go tot the beach, a life others did not want then, now that life is gone and although i am grateful for the life i have, so very grateful, i became acutely aware of the how sad that memory made me feel.   I miss them both now. It is hard to admit, but it is true.  I don't want my old life back but i still long to live just one of those days again even though i know i can't.  At least I have my sweet loving dogs, and I feel I do things that matter.  I try to be a good person, I try to do the right thing, I try to forgive myself and others.  I try to heal myself and others but I think I am lonely.  I think I need some new friends, people to go out and do new things with.  Or maybe I am a lost cause, and I will just be lonely and sad regardless of the things I do.  I would do more but I am poor.  So there is nothing left but dreams. I am dreaming of days to come and days gone by, so tread softly.