it's been a while [again] since i've been here.  it's so difficult to take the time for myself to sit and let shit out.  i'm so caught up with work and work and work and where is MY time?  at least i got to work on some paintings tongiht.  this is a cool project...coming out awesome already.  so much crap is happening.  among trying to determine my sexuality and complete annual reviews and testing at work and moving in with the boyfriend and still drinking like a fish but knowing i shouldn't...aa really does ruin the drinking....where does the time go?

finally taking time to paint and let some shit out and sit here and let some shit out and try to find the time to post because damnit i wanna be able to find members cuz i know my brother's here and i can't find him and i feel like this would be the best connection we could have right now because even talking over the phone is too personal for us.

the best thing that has happened since my last visit is that i got this awesome "stereo system"...i bought it only because it has a turn table and i was going to sell all of my records that are older than i am...but now i can sit here and listen to the crakle of zepplin and crosby stills and nash and hendrix and queen and old old paul-is-dead beatles....

i miss my brother.  he's so untouchable...