I haven't seen a counselor since 2005. Just been me, being me, harmlessly me, me in solitude, me looking for some kind of life path, me in a relationship, me avoiding family and past, me by myself (did I mention that?). I've got a 1000 scenarios about how this will go. #1: Lousy. #2: Condescending. #3: Parrot Therapy (where they simply repeat what you say, hoping it makes you realize how silly you sound) #4: ... I'm looking for _____________. (?) What the hell do I want out of this? I know that when I'm manic, I'm delusional, and when I'm depressed, well, I'm delusional. Sometimes, when I'm not either, I'm delusional because I think I'm not going to be manic or depressed any time soon and can go ahead and start a project or job, or whatever. In my three ways of being it always ends up with me doing nothing. Worth nothing. So which of me asked to go to counseling. October 6th. O, and no, I don't want meds. I don't self medicate, and I don't want anyone else's drugs.