i was not a person yesterday.

i couldn't feel and i didn't care.  it reminded me of when i was nineteen and wondering if all this shit in my head was real or a hell of my own creation.

i did not identify with anything about myself and it all just felt so....bad.

i though..."i haven't been this low before"

but now, in the light of day after a night of substance-induced self-destruction i realize, i have.  and i've come through.

it's still too scary.