Why do we see things so selfishly? Would this be just another little trick of the unseen force that guides us into total annoyance or is it the lack of common sense that we grow to love and care? Humans… what a mistake to place on this earth; with all their money, electronics, weapons, and IQ test they can still not grasp the idea of real love. Most struggle to understand how to love themselves let alone another person. They are a waste of the air each one of them breaths… Should I be ok with the fact that they are so dumb, so selfish, or lack of common sense? Trying to influence them to think of something more important than their car is quite difficult; plus asking them to see fighting as a lack of thinking seems to be a pushing idea for more destruction.

Am I just over analyzing or am I seeing everything the way life was indented? Why can’t I just go back to sleep like all of them? Why can’t I just sniff some ether and just let it all float around and through me like they do? Why can’t they wake up? Why can’t they see life so plainly? Why is life so bent on destruction of one another? Why do we feel the only way to stop a fight is to jump in for the side we feel will benefit us?

2012, I hear it all the time. “2012 is when the world will stop!” “2012 is when Mom is coming back to destroy it all and remake life new!” “2012 is when the Mayan’s calendar stops and that mean the change of life as we know it.”  When I first heard these “crazy” idea about 2012 I thought, “Shit, what is going to happen?” Now I just sit on the ground with my arms open hoping whatever it is will take me from this hell. This life is Hell. We like to see life though an imaginary way of it. We see roses, fields of love and caring people, and freedom for all people, but this seems to be only one sided; the side that is on top gets these pleasures. Why is that we can’t all enjoy these pleasures? Why is that we feel only one type of people are entitled to enjoy this? Why is that humans are so simple in thinking that they can even split the hairs of what makes each race different from one another? Why is that they are so simple that they can’t wake up and see even though their religion believes in Jesus and others believe in Allah they still believe in loving, caring, and treating everyone with the same respect? Why is that if someone is reading this they assume I am writing a letter to kill myself? Why is it that people are so simple in thinking that some people are reading this and are splitting more hairs by answering my question by separating themselves from the other people, but feel they don’t look any dumber than they started?

Why do we pay people to tell us that life is perfect when life is not? Why do we pay someone to try and get us to walk away from the edge when it was my choice to walk up there, it was my choice to wake up to this, and it is my choice what I do with my life! Why do people feel they can’t live unless they can better themselves by bettering you? Why do people feel they can escape their hell by renewing another’s idea in life? Why is life just something that can be grasped so easily for some, but for others it is something that can’t even be understood clearly? Why do people say they follow in their deities footsteps while seeking new and shorter path? Why is religion our link to life? Why is that we can’t just see love in everything because we respect everything? Why can’t our eyes open to reality at all times? Why do we not choose to take the mane of the horse and ride the ride we created? Why do we feel that when we make a mistake we can just shake our shoulders and just move on, and never notice the path of destruction we just left in our wake?

Why do I write this? Am I writing this to better my health? Am I always writing redundant questions as a prayer? What would that prayer succeed? How would I succeeding in the idea of people waking change anything? Is it to late to wake the people? Is there a point to even try to wake them? If the humans were to awake and see reality they have destroyed, would I cower in fear from what they will destroy when they wake?

Why do I ask you to answer? Why do I believe that people would see pass their bias beliefs and read what I am asking? Why is it that when I ask a question people have to analyze what I am saying before answering, not to better understand the question, but in fear I am trying to lure them in to an indiscretion? Why is there a lack of trust? Why can’t we forgive and let go? Why can’t I? Why do I feel I have wakened and they are sleeping? Could it be that I am sleeping and they are awake? Should I just see that life is pain, lack of trust, no love, and hell? Why do I think I see it all? Why don’t I see me as the hypocrite, racist, hater, or the overzealous religious follower? Maybe it is me? Am I just writing this as a far cry for help? Do I need help? Maybe I am the one mudding up the purpose and just don’t see the recipe for life. Maybe I should just allow life to pass by me, would that make others feel better; would that make me? Should I just sleep while the whole world passes me by? Maybe it would be easier and less energy wasted if I just did as they do; forget.