laying in bed i can hear my brother throwing up in the bathroom putting my headphones on he walks by i don't say anything i almost want to cry instead my heart picks up it's pace

i just came home to get out of the city for a little while not really thinking it through i couldn't possibly have chosen a worse time to come back... and now it's all coming back

hearing those voices in my head hearing my mother on her cell phone downstairs she must think i'm dead she talks so loud obviously doesn't care that i hear every fucking word i'm better at hiding my despair all his hair has fallen out and she talks about that too my hands are purple and blue

keep telling myself: only inbetween apartments, but while i'm here i'm back between those two voids emptiness and fear