So, stimulants are bad right..going to make my heart explode..they make me crabby and i get angry at people..but i love them..more at peace with myself i guess..not with the rest of the world..so i dont want to admit theres a rest of the world..its always hurt me..theres no real reason i should really love this world and want to be in a sober place..funny thing is..i have major conflicts about drugs..but none about alcohol..i love alcohol..except for when it keeps me up all night..for some reason it sometimes does that..if i drink a lot...all the drugs i like..keep me very hyper..but weirdly..by being more insane..i feel more happy with myself..

i just want to be happy...unfortunately