My sleep paralyses wasnt that bad when I was little.

I just knew I was going to get it, when ever I had a bad feeling before bed.Its gotten worse and worse over he last 4 years. Almost once a week.

I dont live alone but I am alone most of the time. She lets me lay with her in the morning. Every since I was very little she has worked nights.  I would get home from school and watch tv till I fell asleep, or I would just stay at a diffrent friends house.

empty houses dont scare me. Its just the sounds. The shadows and images you make up all by yourself, becuase its dark.

Im not afraid of the dark, just whats in it. Turning off the lights is the worst. Have you ever just stood by a door. Preping yourself to turn off the light. I've wasted so much precious sleep time standing in door ways just trying to build up courange to turn off the lights.

THE LIGHTS ARE OFF AND YOU RUN TO BED!

you pull the blanckets over your head and it dosnt matter how bad you are sweating under there you dont peek and you dont let out a finger!

You stay silent, and hold your breath.

I dont ever want to sleep alone.

I wish I could just hire someone to sit thereand watch to see if it happening.

my bottom lip goes up and down I think.

and I can move my right pinky but thats it.

I would beg anyone to stay with me and watch for my pinky, Im struggling inside.

PLEASE WAKE ME UP!

I cant breath

when I sleep he comes from behind, hes in the wall and hes whispering. As soon as I hear his voice Im paralyzed, I struggle. Terrified my legs start to tingle.

I can feel him holding my head down when I fight to wake up 

Hes under the bed now and hes pulling the blankets off of me from the right.

hes got a hook that he swings up and always just misses my left arm.

hes above me, crushing my chest and I cant breath

and hes spreading my legs.

then he lets go.

I catch my breath and open my eyes

lay there in the darkness

I look for him at the ceiling, in the corners.

I know what he looks like, hes asheer black curtin with the outline of some dead face. 

Im awake now but I wont let myself move

hes going to pop out and and scare the shit out of me 

I turn on all the lights

cry for a little while

try and think nice things 

6 hours till she gets home.

when she gets home she is going to let me lay with her.

and Ill keep my eyes open till then.