So today I had an appointment with my shrink (she's not really a psychologist, more of a contact person), and I brought along my husband for a planned network meeting. This family networking business is a great idea. I've never tried it, until today, and I have had my doubts as to whether or not it could actually work. Apparently they arrange big meetings for whole families where everyone talk about how to handle your illness (or the troubles caused by whatever is your problem), and apparently it is excellent when it comes to helping the communication, which can be severely damaged in some families (as most of us know). I can't really see myself, or my scattered family, in a situation like that. Like a depressing, forced reunion of people who really couldn't care less about the communication part of the deal. No, I can't see that happening.

But the meeting with my husband and the nice shrink lady went really well. This could be due to the fact that our communication skills are pretty good to begin with... the purpose of this meeting was more to bring him inside my circle of "friends", help him understand me and how my swings can mess things up (most importantly how not to get messed up by them). In that respect it was a success. I can really recommend family networking, with the very serious network contract, if it is available. (I live in Sweden, so I can't guarantee that it exists in any other country.)

All this business around me and my well-being is not sparked by me having problems this time, but by our plans to start a family (as I mentioned in an earlier post). And all the preparations have been really business-like, I must say. It's like I'm this machine that needs to be kept in balance not to go haywire - right amount of oil, enough sleep, gas, food etc. But I'm not complaining, I take heed to the advice from the wise and experienced and I try to tell myself that it's all for my own good. And that really feels like the truth this time. I don't think the system cares a bit if I feel bad or go berserk, in fact I think that the system strains itself to show true compassion for once (or as close as doctors can get). The psychiatric system in this country is a little bit like a tired bureaucrat without paid vacation, so once you finally get its attention you feel almost honoured (and pissed off).

It's just not very romantic, that's all. But I'm not gonna spit on the hand that helps me... not this time. So today I got this really stern look from my shrink when she heard that I don't sleep much, and she said that "maybe you should be very particular about getting your sleep patterns right... for now, during this period in time (i.e. while you trying to have baby)". And my response was - boring! (Hence the stern look I suppose.) But we discussed the daily routines I set up for myself a long time ago and I agreed on trying to adhere to them. So this is my day as it should look:

06.00 - 08.00 Get up and fix myself breakfast, oatmeal porridge and a sandwich.

08.00 - 11.30 Write. And a snack at 11.00.

11.30 - 12.00 Exercise.

12.00 - 13.00 Lunch.

13.00 - 17.00 Afternoon activities, sometimes including reading, always including a snack and a nap.

17.00 - 20.00 Dinner.

23.00 Bedtime.

This is pretty much how my days look already, apart from the sleep part. Boring? Am I a slave to the system, or is this care at its best? I don't know. The only thing I really know is that I feel good, so something is working. And hopefully everything will continue to feel good. Hopefully everything will be ok. Hopefully.