I've spent the last 8 years untreated.  This is not something I would recommend to anyone.  All my coping mechanisms, my functionality at work with the sparse number of friends who know only bits of me, mean nothing in comparison to the clusterfuck I've brewed up at home.  I have chosen to remain in an abusive relationship with a drug addict, who has recently been diagnosed with the same psychiatric issue as me, bi-polar.  Not only is he my husband, but the father of my beautiful daughter.  

I cringe, everyday, because of the choices I've made.  I leave my daughter with this... thing, every day while I go to work.  I fear he'll be negligent(again), get high while taking care of her (again), steal our money (again), but I don't have the power to leave.  All I want is out.

I tried to be the good person.  I tried to enable, hoping he needed support, in all ways.  I bought him the drugs that made him "happy", but it was never enough.  I tried to play tough love, and involuntarily committed him after repeated benders on DXM and alcohol, along with spending our rent on frivolous purchases.  I coaxed him to go to NA for support, and brought him his medicine each day...

But he doesn't want what I want.  He would remain a dottering idiot on dxm for the next 50 years if I continue paying the bills.  He sees no issue with intoxication while caring for our daughter.  He sees no use in equilibrium.  He cares nothing for me, for us.

No matter how responsible I feel, my guilt can never make him be what I need him to be.  I feel like I lost, lost at life at 25.  Is it possible to loose so early in the game?