After years of battling with the mental health system I now have a reason to keep taking meds, my son.  During my pregnancy I became so far gone that I scared myself nearly to death.  In the middle of winter running through the streets screaming in complete fear, becoming homeless in a city I'd never lived in before, not sleeping or eating, getting in trouble with the police and the conclusion was ending up in hospital.  It seems like forever that I've refused to take meds because it seemed as soon as I started taking them I'd lose my creative life force.  I hated living like the walking dead.  But now I have my son to think about.  I can't journey into the dangerous aspects of mania without their being a risk of negligence to my boy.  He needs me to be a loving and constitent parent, not a mom that he can't predict.  It wouldn't be fair to him at all.  So I keep taking the meds, and my doctor reduced them hoping that the mental fog would disappear for me, and slowly it's seeming to work.  This is the first time in my life I've been compliant with medication but I'm not doing it for me alone anymore.  I've got two people to think about now.  I need to be in the best mental health to be the best parent.  My travels into the mystical landscape of my mind can now take a backseat to being there for my son as he grows.  I can't miss a moment.  I don't ever want to be hospitalized again.