Well I got fired from my job last week....

I don't even know how to explain the situation. The work environment was pretty hostile and I was going to quit anyway I was just trying to find another job first so I didn't end up with no income and homeless....

Well I have had no luck finding another job yet and though I have a part time gig making $6/hr right now, it is impossible to pay my rent and bills with just that job. I do have modest savings but it is only enough to cover a month or so of living expenses and after that, if I don't find something I will be evicted.

The thing that sucks the most about this is I know I was fired because of my mood disorder. I have been having an increasingly hard time regulating my emotions and while I have never treated a customer with anything but respect, I know my boss fired me because of my depression. The work environment made it harder for me to manage and they made themselves unaproachable to even try to discuss the trouble I was having to try to work out a better schedule for me or to maybe take a couple of days off. And because I can't really afford to take any time off when I am sick or just need a break...I just got fired instead. My boss reall had no valid reason to fire me based on my performance on the job, but I think she viewed me as a liability just becase of my illness and the likelyhood that I would have to be hospitalized again unpredictably and she would have to find someone to cover my shifts....it sucks, but it happens all the time.

I have been supporting myself for a while now, about 6 years or so. But this last year and a half has been the first time I have had to do it without any student loans to help supplement my income. It has been really tough. not only that, but I have had to make payments on loans and medical bills I have racked up over the years, with no medical insurance. I was barely making it with my job and 3 roomates, now I don't even have my job anymore and i'm not elgible for unemployment.

I feel so depressed it is hard for me to get out of bed int he morning, much less try to convince other employers they should hire me when I was just fired for something largely beyond my control and that will not change anytime in the near future.

What is even crazier is I might be accepted to grad school in the fall, but at this rate I won't be able to afford to move and go. I am supposed to hear back from this school by the end of the week. And if I get accepted I really want to go....but I don't see how I will be able to go now.

I just feel so hopeless....and I was doing so well on my meds too for a while there, but there always comes a time when they stop working for whatever reason...I really want to escape this hell I am living in. I really don't want to screw up another job, i've never been fired before and i'm not sure I can take being fired again, especially for being who I am. I am starting to feel suicidal again. I really need a friend right now. I need some help that doesn't involve imprisoning me in a hospital....