Kim Henninger

Icarus

A few years ago I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar II, but have been struggling with it, unknowingly, since I was young. This led me through a dysfunctional period of self-medicating and self-destructive behavior. I experimented with all sorts of natural and chemical medications for many years. I ran into walls of frustration. I found myself in a complete state of chaos, with no hope for end in sight, my life in shreds.

Eventually with support from strong friends, good counselors, the right meds and a dramatic shift in life style I was able to draw closer a balance between being consumed by it and completely squelching its dangerous fire. It is always a delicate struggle to hold in one hand the world of extreme transcendence and the other, the dark creature of self annihilation. I realize that the problem is not the way I function but the social construct that allows no room for any thing that deviates from the norm; which creates a lack of self-love, acceptance and offers no tools to develop your gifts. 

   
For me, this painting represents the beauty in the darkness and light of this paradoxical struggle; while also acknowledging the sense of longing for the ecstatic high without the inevitable cost.  While living in Fairbanks, Alaska, I found painting as a way to work out a lot of the visions of monsters and fairies in my neurological microcosm. I now live in Olympia, Washington with my daughter and chosen family.