Alexis K. Bond

Moral Thermometer, 2004

Digital Art

6 3/4" x 9"


Regarding the person responsible for this image:

My name is Alex Bond.

I have been diagnosed with what is called a mental disorder, specifically Bipolar I - most commonly my symptoms are defined as "mixed states"

These traits have always been with me, before anyone called it anything-I just called it being me. It has varying degrees and it has gone through many various mutations at times. It cycles within itself, but I am not really sure what "normal" is. It really never goes away-medications never take it away, they just create fogs and other undesirable effects, perhaps place a dam to keep the flood from my brain from reaching the general populous quite so easily.

Sometimes my existence is a struggle-mostly being able to feel comfortable with expectations of socially defined "normal" human interactions. Perhaps surprisingly, I am not ashamed to be "crazy" - there is no other way for me to be. I feel that in actuality much of what makes all of us unique and strong comes directly from many parts of the whole person. To view these parts as either good or bad is in my view illogical. Generally I imagine that much like the common scifi time travel dilemma-if you change even one tiny part of something will that cause a chain reaction of effects on the many other parts-it will cease to be the "whole". I think all my parts are necessary and imagine the same goes for others diagnosed with mental illness. I would rather see more ways people find to draw on the strengths that come with all of these traits-not try to eliminate parts that could turn out to be vital elements of the whole being.

The images I started creating with Photoshop in 2004 were mostly self portraits. I have a fascination in images of myself. I think I have a hard time identifying myself as physical. I am always trying to connect my mind to the external self-not so much for anyone else-but for me. I like to try to visualize what I feel inside. I often imagine I read so much in other humans-as they move through this life-they exude aspects of themselves. I guess I keep wondering what is coming out of me as I pass through.

This image "moral thermometer" is one of the first I did some time in early 2004. It began as an image of me. I really loved the concept of a moral thermometer somehow able to "read" the many gradations of moods.