Eddy Falconer

O, HERO

They say that depression is a good time for editing material and that is part of what motivated O, HERO, which is made up of photographs I have taken over the years without knowing why I even bother. Specifically, I have photographed demonstrations for many years without exhibiting or publishing the results, and tend to have low self-esteem about even the ones that 'succeed' as photographs. In this collage, I have purposely used 'failed' photographs as mulch for a new portrait of the world, my attempts to engage with it positively, and yet the alienation that I still feel. I also sometimes think that merely decorating or making marks and patterns and textures, can be a depressive activity as well as a meditative one. There is also the subtext in this picture of the memorial parade for murdered transwoman Gwen Araujo, which marked the first annual trans pride celebration in San Francisco a few years back. So the girl with the dream could be Gwen, whose dream was taken from her by murderers, or me, seeing as I am no longer a girl in terms of age but also in terms of gender identity.