A question I sometimes ask myself: How has having this “illness” labeled by Western medicine as Bipolar disorder or Manic Depression affected my life and my art? Deep numbing depressions and manic and mixed episodes have added an intensity to my life. I don’t think this quality would be as extreme if I didn’t have the chemical imbalance that I have.

I’ve always felt in a way that I am an artist, even from very early childhood. I’m not certain exactly when my bipolarity began and how it has effected me artistically. I can recall having extremely intense feelings in childhood and adolescence with some of what may have been depression. I didn’t have a vocabulary for the feelings at the time, though. My point here is that I don’t know how to compare myself before the “illness” hit me with myself once I had it.
 
 
People often think being bipolar gives one some sort of special access to creativity and brilliance in the arts and other spheres. I believe there are and have been throughout time immensely gifted, visionary people with this “disorder”. There is also undeniable genius and virtuosity amongst people who don’t have this or any other mental illness.

There is “something” about me I wonder if being bipolar has influenced, though. Having experienced the depths of lows and intensity of manias I’ve survived, I have a level of compassion for others that many people don’t seem to possess. We can never know what goes on in another person’s head or heart. The disenfranchised of the world that are so often scorned and ignored are just as deeply human as everyone else. Perhaps this is the gift being bipolar has given me. Perhaps being able to acknowledge and respect this is the gift being bipolar has given me.