...yesterday i freaked out, i had forgotten to take lithium for a few days (too busy organizing arts stuff) and it hit me after work... total desolation, confusion, sadness, bad, bad thoughts, i thought the entire world was out to get me... now that i know what it is, i knew how to stop it, a bit of lithium and now i just feel numbed... a whole day watching bad tv helps to destroy a few brain cells that otherwise will remind me of my 'situation'...

...when i finally found out what it was that i had, it was a relief, finally!!! people like me in icarus and confirmation from a pschychiatrist, wonderful! meds? mmmm! let me think about it, why not? now that i found my demon is time to put it asleep... now i'm not sure, perhaps i rushed into the decision, i stop taking li for a few weeks just a month ago and it was literatelly waking up from a long sleep!... i don't deny it, li has made my life a bit more organized, but i still feel lost...

...i promise my two psychos a try-out of 2 yrs, feb is the deadline!... i feel i have a big decision to make... but i must confess i really wanna make friends with myself and stop running away, i cannot do that on li...