It's been awhile since I wrote in my blog.  There has been some improvements overall with my health and state of my mental being.  I have gone down to 125 mgs of depakote and I also am losing weight.  I am down to 226 pounds roughly.  I tried to sleep but I was listening to music and I got a headache so here I am now.  I took an excedrin, excedrin pm and one more benadryl.  It just a matter of time before it all catches up with me.  Basically, I have been doing real well no problems.  I did have one day a bout with anger but normally I would indulge in my anger and act out on something or someone.  I was  proud of myself because I just walked away from what was making me angry.  I then went with my Mom to a friend's house.  My Mom treated her friend to salad.  My Mom's friend wasn't feeling well she had been fighting the flu but she was on the mend.  Normally, she cooks for us and we visit and talk and share things about life in general.  She is aware of my mental illness.  However, she knows that I am also seeing a naturopath and she can tell a big difference in me than before.  I was like a zombie at 2000 mgs of depakote.  I have food allergies not the kind that are dangerous but if I want to get off the meds without relasping I have to stay away as much as possible from dairy and chocolate.  It is very hard to do this because most things have dairy in it.  However, I do drink water and soy milk and I have found soy products so that does help.  To make sure I'm still ok, I am going to have an amino acid blood test done next month.  I built them back up through a special amino acid compound blend in crystal powder form.  It has been working great but I just want to make sure before we tackle the next big one geodon.  I have a lot of spare time on my hands but do have appointments.  I do volunteer usually on Fridays for 3 or 4 hours depending how I feel.  I volunteer at a hospital in medical records doing data entry.  Gives me something to do.  The possibility that I could work part time would be great but I am building it up through volunteering.  I have to see how I could handle more days or more time.  Well, that's all I can think of take care.

Darren