sometimes, or most of the time, i feel like i am sitting on the side lines of my own brain. like watching the action from a far, i am on the outside. and i cant stand it because i see it, my head doing things that i dont want it to do and yet i have no control, i do it anyways. yes i am crazy but this is more then that, its like my chemicals are so off and my actual sane part of my brain is so confused because it doesnt know how to handle what is going on, or even how to process it. i honestly wish that battle would fucking end, and that the sane side would win of course. its just hard, i am always fighting.   this girl is always at war...