www.youtube.com/watch

this video made me cry, a good cry.

I pulled some people, a mother and a baby and a little boy out of the ocean with my adopted brother Kevin and some joggers one year long ago in Santa Monica and the memory never leaves me about the water. Then a man from Nigeria named Oshen saved my life one day when I was choking on vomit from becoming allergic to wine. He told me a great story about the water people...maybe I can write it out sometime. I am very tired. I passed section 8 inspection despite the thing growing in my sink...well anyways, this video also reminds me of states I get into since having a number of near death experiences, the worst from a bad shock from bad wiring in a trailer which went through my heart and brain. It causes space-time issues. It gets hard to explain or verbalize. I feel other medicine comes with it. I get kissed by lightning a lot too and it takes material items from me. I have seen Crazy Horse a number of times and I think it is because lightning was his medicine, is his medicine. He lives. So does White Buffalo Woman. If it is easier to just say I am crazy, go ahead. White Buffalo woman was here plain as day. I won't go on about it to the doctor. Sometimes they overmedicate you for things you just know about. I could say for beliefs but it is not so much a belief but a knowing. These are indeed good times in the long run. I just cry a lot. But I have a lot more capacity for joy too, despite all the shit. I have pain, often, and all kinds of it but somehow there are those ways you transcend it and I hold onto those times. I let time slow down for myself so these times last longer. I love life as sorrowful as it could have been at times. I see everything healing up and down the timeline in this very potent time in the here and now. By the way, what is "real time'? I never did quite figure it out. I will write more on this subject later.  A lot of healing is going on for me in this area of my life.