had a few hours sleep. oh man, need to watch out for cayenne when you have ibs. it seems. still i am grateful to be able to pee again. that was a nightmare. i read tho that they usually put it right in the bladder with a doctor but i just took the pills and there was dramatic improvement. cayenne helps metabolism too and i need that a bit. i just may not have it three times a day now. i have to figure this out.

well we have to end up doing a lot of our own self treatment when the medical system sucks so much. yes i miss appointments sometimes...but still...

the nurse at the clinic chewed me out for being out of "compliance" that wonderful word ugh. this is cause i missed going to med group to talk with a doc since i missed my doctor appt and have to wait now til march. sometimes i tell them to stop blaming me for their inadequate system. she said in a rude tone, "how OLD are you?" i said, "what does that have to do with anything?" then she said she could just look in my chart. i did not react to her tactic and she got uncomfortable and finally called my meds in for a week so i can go to the silly med group next week. it is not like i enjoy missing my doc and having to wait a half a year to see her. med groups suck too.

there is one cool lady there who advocates for us. she has bipolar too. i need to call her. she is great.