right after i poured just another bucket into the whole dark weight of it, he sent me out to sea.  same sea he'd just been drowning in.  thrust his head above the torrent and rose erect, his arms held crossed against his bare chest in a stern paternal manner.  His face held the same poise yet also bore a look of graveity mixed with an ageless plea which begged with noble humanity for beauty and trust to be restored.

and i flailed in the water, reaching out for something to hold on to.  "pick yourself up" he yearned.  but instead i wailed in indecision. "what do you want from me." it was that plea which spoke.  what i would have given to bound towards him and throw my arms around his neck. to shower him with salty kisses and profess im ready to commit.

but i did love him. i loved his frajility and his strength.  i loved his wisdom and his naivity.  i loved his every virtue which took on a universal air so that he was no longer just HE but man in all wonder.  and i did not throw my arms around him to rob him of his beauty.  i did not mock his need for truth.  and i continued to struggle with myself in the water still hoping in vain to turn reality around so that i might go to him and make us both instantly whole.

i can't finish this right now...

claimer: i hadn't made any promises.