oh sweet martyr you keep holding your breath.

eyes are swollen, tired

water drops hard steady....

and im not sorry.

compelled only by the deep sensation when thoughts stroke the heart strings.

what more can you expect?

everything  seems to be crashing.

making a motion with my hands-

a figure or shape that holds, cups,

wrapping around the dome of knowledge

and hiding secrets of emotions i will never really know or understand

and who will i share them with?

that is the struggle.

traveling through the body, a million tactics, plans, agendas, all to continue the fight to survive. 

how beautiful

to believe in that which is not real,

and when the lie we have made within ourselves has been discovered. 

that feeling chokes stiff in the back of my throat.

clenching a threshold of reality or whatever has been considered as much.

oh sweet martyr you just keep holding your breath.