When my mind feels liberated it's short lived. As soon as the wall falls, another is built. As soon as I'm happy, I'm sad again. Just today my sister told me, that we, people, are in complete control of our brains. If this were true, why then is my brain full of cliffs, of which, my mind finds neccesary to hurl itself off of several times a day? Yea I'm in control of my brain, like the state is the dissodent. I am a conservative parent, my mind the rebelious child I'm on the verge of disowning, continuously I say, pay attention, be productive, aspire to be someting great. No, is what I get in return, as my mind steels the car keys, ditches class, and satiates it self with petty idealism, punk rock, and vandalism.

Constantly I ask why, why am I in this valley below such a formidable cliff? So concerned am I with regaining lost heights, I fail to take in the sights. Even though it's in the valley that my worries will likely be elusidated.

What is so difficult about accepting this part of myself? My Mom, she's now on meds, makes me think maybe I want to be, though she don't feel no better, why would I? Fuck the pharm, I don't want to be addicted to their brand of beef (or any beef for that matter).

Acceptence should be simple, at least once a day I find myself at the bottom of this cliff; I've tried many ways to prevent the fall, they've all failed; the experience is far from new; therefore, this is a part of who I am.

If the above deduction is sound, I ought to accept this out of plain logic and common sense. Why cant I?