I was talking to my friend about my boyfriend and my past relationships and all that sort of stuff. and i realized a lot about things. i realized that not only do i honestly think i found my soul mate, i really can't compair how much i love him to anything else in the world. You know that feeling where everything on the outside hurts but everything on the inside is just so happy that nothing on the outside matters? Thats kind of how he makes me feel. He makes me feel that enturnal happiness that everyone looks for in life. Just talking to her about how much i love him made me start crying all on its own just thinking of what he makes me feel and how ive never felt anything like it before. How im just sitting here just not being able to type anything that i was saying because it was worded in such a way that i can't remember anything i said anymore. He brings out a side of me that i've never seen before, and not only do i notice it but everyone who knew me before i met him notices it also. I'm always being told how perfect we are for eachother and how he brings out the best in me, and he does, he really really does. I really do love him and it scares me, it scares me cause i've never felt like this and i never put all of my trust into someone before. He helped me get better and continues to help me everyday just by me knowing im his, but how can i continue to get better when the feelings that i have for him aren't exactly returned anymore? I love him...i really do, but it feels like he doesnt love me anymore. I know i should just think positive about it, but theres no way to. All that happiness that was inside has just gone cold and it feels like theres nothing left at all. Ive been in a lot of relationships...most of which were really shity ones...where i was cheated on...messed with...and the worst part about this one is that none of that happened...but yet i feel more dead then all those times. I want to believe that he still loves me...but its impossible, i just dont know what to believe anymore, what do you do when the one thing that made you feel alive is now gone? I just wish that i could still make him happy, still make him smile, still make him feel alive, still make him feel the way i used to make him feel.