I woke up and staired at a speck on the couch.
God I hated that speck. I wanted to scream at it, punch it, tear it to pieces and destroy everything about it.
But I just lie there, looking at it.

I thought the anxiety was gone this morning when I first woke up, but then,
30 seconds later, BOOM! There it is again! Hurrah!

I want to jump out of my skin and into on-coming traffic.
I'm so damned frustrated. Every thought makes me want to scream.

I wish I could get up the courage to just run down the street screaming "Bloody
Hands! Sinners Repent, or be raped to shit by your God of Wrath!" like I know I want to.

Am I just faking this?

I'm afraid anyone I tell this to will call me a faker.
They'll say I'm exaggerating. Making it out to be worse than it is.

Am I?

It's ok to be honest.

God, i hate living right now.

I listened to Elliot Smith for the first time in about a year this morning.
It gave me my new Forum Signature.

"I know how I begin, and how I end -- strung out again."
-Elliot Smith

God I just want to jump off of a bridge and into a concrete wall.

~Beau