what do you do, when what you use to numb scares the shit out of you?  i got nightmares growing in my sight, i watch them while i lay awake at night, i know things can only get better-if i'll let them.  i'm so frightened, shy and alone.  no place feels like home.  i miss everyone at once, some one to talk to, meeting someone new,  wrote a song about apathy, but never bothered to finish it, sometimes i feel like my spirit's sick, my heart races at every thought, running through empty halls with no doors, no place to go to get away, no solace no peace today, i say shalome when i'm at home, to quiet those terrors cuz getting high is so detrimental for me i should just stop.  i wish i had someone for comfort to talk to about things, to see the hope she brings, we could dream sweet dreams, together while she hears me sing, a song of a life of fun and sunlight.  i think to hard.  i wish i wish i could feel this here, but there's to many people here, we're not allowed to cry or show our fear, so i sing, but being scared never solved anything.  i miss you though i've never met you i feel like i know you.  i don't even know who you are . . .she's just to good for me.  she left with the greatest of ease-got sick of my social disease.  i think i'm feeling better, i gotta expell this hell i've been speaking of, inside constricted, ragged breath.  i know i know at least i thought so.  where can i go, but circles are more whole than me.  spirals are a light for me, symbolistically.  maybe i'm just lazy . . .tears running down my heart all over solar plexus light.  i felt my head activate that night, i loved you like a song, then i sang along.  how did i go so wrong?  nothing's really going on-i'm just on my own spinning out so well-all by myself.  i love you.   i always have, i always will.  all of you are always so true and beautiful, making me feel safe, happy and a part of and you give my heart things to sing about-i just don't keep secrets out loud.  i sit around and i wanna run in circles in the pit.  i want to make it all okay for you.  so i'm going to.  you'll be fine and i will hopefully get to be with you.  i hear a man on my headphones who sounds so sad and all alone, but i know he's in a better place, finally at ease rest in peace, musicians passed away, will that be me someday, what will i leave behind?  will i be happy with what you find?  i hope so.  i know you down below your mask, and i know why you like to play, i know why we click so well, we're untied in our spirit, i think if you got a problem i'll be there to hear it, you can cry here, there's nothing to fear, then we'll laugh like hell, cuz we never knew it would turn out so well, someday oh well, just be patient, it doesn't last forever, and in case it does, let's keep working together