How many secrets do you want me to hold for you?
Family secrets.
Game playing secrets.
Overmedicating secrets.
Two faces secrets.
My body can't hide everything. I'll stand up straight and strong sometimes. But I must dance and let it all out. Have sex. My body is my medium. Body language my mother tongue?

I'll stare blankly sometimes. I have lots to think about with my manic and psychotic episode before coming in and my time in the hospital. She's glad to know that I'm thinking. It scares her to think that I might not be. The answer she says is to keep busy. I remember this in grade 10. Seeing empty interactions. Not wanting to subscribe to busiwork to distract myself from nothing. Deciding to pretend to be happy because I just might convince myself. I'm not ready yet to pull out of this depression. Is it depression?