is this intuition? or is it the new med. or is it ptsd. or is it bipolar agitation or is it that a big chunk of the arctic melted? i feel that dread again. i feel i can only smoke a little green to resolve the awful feeling it makes in my gut. it is so awful. i see too many potential realities too. i see too many disasters. but there is bliss too sometimes.

when i was up on the navajo reservation now years ago, camping, cause we had permission, we saw these lights all night going into the mesa. we heard an old anasazi woman in the morning. then when we left there was an article that the ancestor spirits had come to the dine and announced that it was the beginning of the transition to the next world.

sometimes i think we are in some other temporary place while the new world is being formulated somehow by our collective subconscious...that we are asleep somewhat. sometimes we wake up briefly and it can be shocking hearing the transitions going on...outside the caccoon. i don't know.

that is just one of my weird thoughts.