I've slept over forty hours in the past four days.

What the fuck is that shit?

I go to bed every night with plans for the next day. Rather important plans at that. During eventful, people filled days. Fun filled days.

Come day break I wrap something around my head to trick my body into thinking it's still night time, and listlessly slip back into a coma.

There's so much I need to be doing. Cleaning, cooking, parenting, giving a fuck about the state of the world.

Disillusioned again. It happens every so often I suppose.

And I'm stuck here for another six months to a year. I try to make the best of it but the people here are so...fucking awful. So digustingly revile, and ugly.

I'm live in a reservation border town in Montana. With that comes racism, discrimination, hate, violence, substance abuse, and all around negativity. How do you really make the best of that?

Because when I go to a street dance and have a beer they see another drunk Indian. Or when I go to a Pow Wow with my white girlfriend, I can't hold her hand and they still see a traitor.

It's always about they. THEY Because I'm from a politically charged family, thanks uncle, and there are expectations to uphold. THEY Because I'm Indian and they're not, and there are expectations to defy. THEY CAN ALL KISS MY ROUND ASS!

I'm just bitter. More at my educational upbringing.

Because THEY told me to aim high, dream big, tolerate, accept, diversify, respect, be polite, stand for what's right. And so I did, and I do. And I'm the out cast for it.

What the shit? I ask. What the shit!

I think I'm going to inflate my bubble up again. And NO ONE'S GETTING IN. From these here parts, at least.