ok so i study a lot of different belief systems. then when my mind gets heightened in a major up, i start to have visions and i start to play roles too of some of these higher power type beings. it is like trance dance ritual in bali. they do it, it is a human action. that sort of thing is what led to theater...channeling...but i don't think they get sent to the hospital for this in bali.

the only thing is, sometimes the voices are right on and sometimes they lie. i pick up frequencies on an antenna brain, when i have less filters (meds, etc) and it is overwhelming sometimes--i get the good, the bad and the ugly.

i had demon battles. i blasted hundreds with light, sending them away to where they came from. i remember one specifically, a rag doll demon. it was very creepy.

i became mary magdalene for awhile. i did actually wash this guy's feet in the hospital. he was jesus. at first i argued with him that i was jesus but he was more persistently stubborn on the issue so i became mary magdalene. i cleaned his feet then on the patio with hospital mouthwash, hiding behind the lone palm tree out there. it felt necessary.

then on the millenium, my psychic friends in australia, dreamtime people, led me through a ritual that partly involved throwing away a can of comet ( i should use bon ami) and this was supposed to help prevent some comet from hitting us.  my australian friends i just talked to through the eucalyptus tree telephone.

i talk to ghosts. sometimes in heightened states, it gets very intense. MLK visited me right before 9/11 ( i was traipsing through the other worlds before and during 9/11 making even a worse nightmare because i could see these people's lives end in my mind's eye. i could feel what it felt like to jump out of the towers upstairs windows to only die. MLK showed me him getting shot and then i cried. and then he said, "don't fear death" and a number came to me and i looked it up in my bible and it was all about the seal of the martyrs.

jesus talked through my heart for a while. i could see him too in mind's eye and there he spoke with sign language i understood and then would resonate in my heart and heal it. whoever he was, he was jamaican or something--he had dreadlocks and john lennon glasses. he was the real deal of something or other.

i have conversed with kali. she told me one day she would like some orange juice so i offered her some and later i found out oranges are sacred to her.

john coltrane is indeed a saint too and he talked to me through his music and became a nurturing mother for me in a crisis. and the sisters of mercy at the church of st john coltrane are saints too. they helped me too. i wrote to them and they wrote back "love supreme!"

thelonius monk was a quiet person but he said hello. he said "hey shorty, i remember you." i used to be short as a kid but it sounds like a nickname for a jazz musician. i am still not tall but i was very little as a kid.

i did a duet with billy holliday.

fairies get into my house and move things around sometimes.

i talk to the god of the bible sometimes but i find myself wanting to argue with him. i hope i don't get caught in christian hell. not a good place.

i would liek to think i could reincarnate til i get it all right.

my bf is a christian but in an earthy liberation theology sort of way...like a comrade jesus sort of way.

i had to go through the fall. i was in a heavenly realm and then crashed and felt shame like eve, and curled up in a ball all ashamed and then went into space and some kind person helped me when i got lost out there and brought me back to earth. then i felt renewed. the fall felt phsycial too. it crunched me. it hurt. gravity was stronger and i felt so weak. but there was a renewal later.

i have baptized myself in the shower more than once.

i spoke with the ants. they told me secrets. they are supposed to help us between worlds i think. the hopi say they live with the ant people between worlds underground. sometimes i think we are between worlds already, perhaps with memories and consciousness saved on some biocomputer somewhere.

oh i will probably have to continue this sometime later. peace.