I am a strange being, often a tortured soul. My internal landscape varies so widely. I experience every shade of the spectrum of the human psyche from black to utraviolet and beyond. I dwell in deep. dark caverns where there is only darkness, despair, hopelessness, and misery. Eventually I stumble my way out of the winding, subterranean tunnels i get lost in so easily and emerge in an open meadow where the sun is shining and the weather is sweet. I delight in the ease of existence and the profound miracle of simple happiness. Sometimes i soar the skies and see sights few, and only the truly blessed can say they have seen. Sometimes fire burns through me bringing inspiration and vision and an unlimited wellspring of vitality. The blaze grows in intensity to a raging inferno -and i am left scarred. And rarely (neverending grattitude that it is rare) I orbit the solar system from beyond pluto and am lost in confusion, and misperception of reality. I am blessed and cursed to trod terrain most people have never set foot on.  It can be especially hard to show myself to the people who knew me when i was more whole, more integrated ( though perhaps there never was such a time?) and sometimes i avoid everyone.