xmas was ok. i moped some, got the runs some but overall because it was a non-xmas it was ok. we had 7/11 pizza finally at 2 am. he slept all day. then i napped at night some, not quite enough yet. and then we ate in the middle of the night and the beautiful christmas bud that was supposed to manifest itself, never did. it would have hlped the runs. 7/11 pizza not good for the gut. i finally got so hungry tho and was grateful for it.

we got some things on amazon. he got a tournament chess set and i got a doumbek. i hope they deliver it here cause they always screw it up and the neighbors steal my packages. i am never sure what will happen here.

i was very happy sometimes and very sad. just sort of all over and i am still struggling with flu and lack of sleep. i am really angry too at effexor, thet have messed up my life in some ways. the lack of sleep i think makes it so i can not heal.

but overall i am really grateful in my spirit and happy. i have good gifts this year that are hard to define.

xmas eve tho, weirdness... j was singing...and i yelled out, "james brown!" twice or thrice and then we did a bit of james brown imitations. i never do this really. and then the next day woke up and saw he died.

i also had posted on my ketogah blog on stumbleupon.com a thing about ethiopian christmas, just because it popped in my head. well then they bombed somalia yesterday. then i worried people thought i was being sarcastic in my blog there or something. maybe not. yeah that is more a photo art blog thing and reviews and news and such. there are a lot of somalian refugees in my neighborhood. a family lives next door to my friend near here and they fit in a huge extended family into a tiny apartment. i always wonder about space and how when we lack it, we have to create a sense of it in our minds.

i do anyways. i am someone who needs space. it is weird lately tho, with my new boyfriend. i don't seem to need to get away from him much for space at least at this point. i can be with him pretty easily and that is rare and it is rare for people to do ok living with me maybe, and he is doing really well and he is really sweet and he is really patient. i needed patience, this has been a gift. he brings laughter and love and light to my life.