When a storm is on the horizon the electricity, the tension, the charge in the air is almost palpable. If you listen, all around you, the animal kingdom is trying to tell you what is on the way whether it is the family dog barking for no apparent reason or the howling of the wild coyotes, hours earlier than they usually come calling. If you close your eyes and listen, truly listen you’ll understand what all the howling is about, because in the darkness of cutting off one of your own senses, you to will hear the electricity, the rain, and most certainly—the magic.

            I have spent my life in some of the most beautiful environments I could imagine, on the rivers of Canada in a canoe, in the mountains of New Hampshire, Vermont and New York, looking out over the gulf of Mexico from a Mexican beach, watching swans glide along a lake in the famous Norfolk Broads or England, sleeping amidst what can only be described as the elves and fairies of the Mountain Light Sanctuary in the western mountains of North Carolina and watching the sunrise over the Rhine River in Germany, yet the moment I understood the most that I was a small part of something greater and more glorious than I could ever imagine, happened on a college campus in Worcester, Massachusetts.

            Life can be hard when you’re in your early 20’s, every thought seems amplified, and every action seems like a life or death moment, every choice feels like it is going to change the course of your entire life. This is the exact thought pattern I was having, sitting in front of my Apple Powerbook, at my desk, which I had deliberately situated next to the only window in the soul sucking, brick faced and emotionless dorm room I was inhabiting. The drop in the air temperature was instantaneous and undeniable, but I couldn’t bring myself to close that window, to lock myself up in that little box that had already taken so much out of me, instead I situated myself directly in front of the now cool breeze floating in, closed my eyes and inhaled. The smell of rain was overwhelming, not many people know but the word that defines the smell of rain on dry ground is “petrichor”, however science does no justice to the smell wafting in through my windows at that moment. I would describe the smell as vanilla and sea salt and fresh cut grass and fresh chilled white wine. Within moments the smell turned to the sound of the sky opening up, with my eyes closed and high from the most perfect scent I have ever encountered, I would swear I heard the clouds let go, I heard the rain start to fall well before it hit the ground. If I could go back to that slow motion moment, I would count the seconds from when I heard the drops to when I heard them hit the pavement, I am sure I could have done it.

            From the second the sky opened up I understood acutely and without any wonder or question the words that I had grown up hearing in my house again and again, “the Goddess is alive and Magick is afoot”. It was torrential downpours out and yet my body acted on its own accord, I got up and walked out, out of the stuffy box I was in and in some ways right out of my life. Barefoot, clad only in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, I walked, dazed, directed only by the smells and the sounds of Mother Nature calling to me.

            In the moment I got outside I was struck by the raw power of nature unleashed. In the split second that the rain cascaded down over my head, soaking me to the core I found spirituality, truth and happiness all at once. It took less than ten seconds for me to be completely soaked and yet completely and totally whole for the first time ever. I stood in the grass, grass clippings and mud running down around my bare feet as the earth I was standing on slowly eroded and I sank ever deeper into Mother Nature. I took root at that moment, watered by the rains and patted down by the sand and mud and rocks piling up around my ankles I was planted in nature with hopes that with care I would grow into something big, strong and healthy.

            I stood still as a stone, I couldn’t move, I could barely breathe, but I could do exactly what I did. In the middle of a college campus I threw my arms up in the air and screamed. I screamed and screamed and unleashed every primal urge I was feeling. I screamed out all my insecurities and questions and doubts about my place in the world, and I continued to scream knowing that the crashing sounds of thunder and the pounding of the rains was preventing my screams from ever reaching another human ear, only me and the earth were in that moment. With one bold strike of lighting, the kind that is not just a flash but a clearly defined bolt that could have been thrown by Zeus himself my place in the world was illuminated to me. I am small; I am inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. The petty day-to-day issues that take such a physical and mental toll on me are nothing but a series of incredibly small moments that will cease to matter in a very short period of time. In the face of raw, primal power, as nature unleashed around me in the whipping, howling winds, the crash of heaven and earth meeting and thundering its existence and the rhythmic drumming and dance of the rain falling around me, I understood that I am not a lone entity. I am part of something larger.

            I wanted to share what I had just learned, just experienced with anybody that would listen and so I set off to walk. I walked across the campus barefoot, soaked and deliberately wading through every puddle I could find. I was convinced that the rest of the campus was somehow missing the greatest moment of their lives and I didn’t understand how they could be going about their homework and socializing when the cosmic forces, the gods and goddesses, the very essence of all that makes us whole had just redefined my life. I crossed over the street, completely vacant, not a car in sight, and entered the next grassy area I came to still buzzing from a metaphysical transformation. When my eyes adjusted to raindrops glistening off of streetlamps I saw people all around the grass, nobody was speaking, every body was single, standing alone and apart from one another, some standing, some walking, all with faces tilted to the sky.

            As I walked back across campus in the light drizzle that was all that was left of my awakening I realized how clear it was both in my internal view of myself and my view of the campus around me, the kind of smog free clear that can only happen after a swift, strong cleansing from Mother Nature bathes all her children, ridding them of the dirt they had accumulated, washing away the grass stains from the falls they took, the kind of clear that leaves you able to look to the sky, for the first time in all the years you lived in this city, and see the stars.