pity

there's a fine line between being with me through my difficult times and pitying me for a situation out of my control. to help me, you've gotta know yourself and support yourself. otherwise you're just trying to heal your shit through watching me suffer and contort my emotional and physical strength around this pain. the difference, i have noticed, is at the end of a conversation where i have shared my struggles, do i feel like there is company, has my loneliness dissipated? when you pity me, give me solutions to my complicated problems, at the end (and in the middle) i feel more lonely, more drained. you're looking to me going through my problems as if they are also not your own, you take what you want, you admire my strength my durability my resilience though you add nothing of your own to the mix. you offer solutions. you offer appropriate mmmmm's. you don't challenge, you judge silently, then go away thankful your pains are not as great as mine. 

fuck that, yo.

support. the difference.

what's mine is mine, what's yours is yours. my sensate experiences are not yours and that's what is beautiful about life. witness for me so that years from now we can look back together to see how far we've both come. show me your weaknesses, or what you perceive them to be, and together, let's find strength in them. let's refocus our attention on how we came through with our spirits in tact. show me that my stories of devastating loss are not all that i am. and after years of being exploited, be conscious of your own ability to exploit those perceived to be weak.