I had no idea why they had appeared suddenly off to my side, just observing and analyzing me. Being of a relatively reality-based orientation, I tried not to put much matter into them or what their purpose might be. Why would these shadows in the corners of my eyes want to observe me, of all people?

Well the confrontation, as I call it, happened last night. I feel this mysterious figure walk towards me, a dark,  intense presence carrying with him a dreamy mood touched with horror....

And he (it felt like a he) sat beside me and said "What exactly are you doing here”?

I stared down at the floor and just felt his presence (because you never look directly at them) and I said “I don't really know, but can I have just a bit more time to figure it out? I keep feeling that I will get an answer or some inspiration soon. How much time are you going to give me before you take Hope away?”

He shadows me in a heavy and somber way, saying, "What do you know of Hope? Every time she came around you mocked her and made her quickly disappear as if she was nothing more than a fairy tale. You never acknowledged Hope”.

I pleaded, "It's not my fault, you know. You talk about Hope and Will as if they were married. For the rational cynic, it takes a lot of Will to even believe in Hope. The naive merely assume Hope will give them the Will to understand it all.  If you sense some indecision or sad state of inertia existing in me it is only because of these and other powerful ideas and states of mind that could never be less alike, yet there is a dialectical attraction: these powerful ideas are pulling me in towards them like magnets, while tending to repel any act of uniting with each other. And the worst of it all is that their total Being and understanding (Love, Hate, Free Will, Faith, Predestiny, Will Power, etc...)....each in its totality is what Truth or Life is all about. But each day we live our lives having to make decisions and create ideas based among these powerful competing forces and encouraged to have a strong commitment to them in order to feel the acceptance and belonging of others. If I can turn every idea I am committed to and turn it around and argue its opposite with as much honesty and righteousness, than why even bother taking a role or decision in anything Life has to offer? Sure, sure, ....the conflict makes the drama, makes the wonderful Life we all live so grand, blah blah blah, take your role and stay away from the powerful forces which balance the universe and you could get some real enjoyment and satisfaction out of your short life. Huh? No, I don't buy it. I can't. It's all too casual and mostly convincing yourself to Be something, when Being can be done with out any effort or commitment at all. Being here and doing nothing is on par, in the grand scheme of things, with whatever Napoleon, Marco Polo, or any other great figure in life has done. Besides, its all been done before, right?"

I immediately sensed I had made an error somewhere in my frustrated speech. I sensed anger from the shadowy figure beside me. And also a strong emotion of pity as he got up from where I was and faded away. He mumbled something about 'getting a life' and vanished. I yelled out, "I'm Being. I'm just Being. Doing nothing, but Being”. The simplicity of it all then hit me with such complexity that I almost lost my Being.