i did not create this hell. the new age seeps in everywhere and people say you create your own suffering, i don't believe a word of it. what does it take to get through to people. all sorts of people. i did not choose this!!

now the equetro is really bad. i think it messed with my blood cells--again, i am in the small percentile that the scary things happen to. it always happens. i should not be on meds. i still have the abilify and effexor at low doses. this nurse practioner did not know me, kept saying i was not at the "therapeutic level" ugh.

i threw up all night. i thought this was dfferent than tegretol. they advertise it that way. they changed only the labeling i have found of time release tegretol...it is just the same and i think they mislead people in thinking it is a new safer version. i threw up just as much. i have a nasty cold and it affects blood cells, i have the sore throat they warn about. fever. well i had the flu and cold and whatnot forever but this just got super bad.

j has been good to me, but things have been a nightmare.

even if i needed the doctor, i can't go. i am too sick to go anhour there and back. i can't deal with it.