hey, what is problematic is that i've made you into this really important person where i see you and love you, seeing you as you are and loving you for who you are, but rather than leaving it at that, i hold on to you and when you are not here or something is wrong it's a big blowup for me because it's like oh fuck i'm losing this really important person. so to me it seems that this is the problem and that the solution is a lot of what you said, not having to call each other out of expectation, letting things traverse as they do, letting the relationship change & me not holding onto this all-important thing that i feel i can't give away. but instead me realizing that what i see and feel for you is unique but not the only opportunity for love and that i can feel love for other people and loved by other people as well as plants and non-human animals. so when you go away or are not here and do what you do, it's not a big blowup for me but its just you doing what you do & i'm okay with that because my love is not tied up in you and i am not dependent on you as my only source of love. it seems that building up love towards myself and reaching outside the box of 'you and i' is what needs to happen for us to interact and love each other without me being so depressed.

he's not your only love
you can be loved by others