I keep a blog on myspace, but none of my friends like to hear about my mental health.  I post on schizophrenia.com which seems like going to a court ordered support group or AA for people with scizophrenia.  Lots of hugging and creative visualization, and macaroni art and think happy thoughts.  I think maybe this site will be more of what Im looking for.

Im not going to give any backstory, Im gonna start in the present.   I just got switched to Invega at 6mg in addition to Geodon at 200mg.  Im taking it real real sporadically.  Ive been having trouble reading but it goes away when Im offf the meds.  But at the same time I need some antipsychotic in me or Im batshit crazy and cant do anything but wander around freaking out. 

I have just started the process of applying for SSI.  And now my family has started hassling me to get a job, so I probably will find one and work for a couple days before I get fired for being psychotic, but also get disqualified.  I dont know.  I think Im just gonna pretend to look for work.

I am thinking about participating in the rTMS trials at Yale.  But at the same time Im a little scared of them too.