I’ve been misunderstood many times in my life, which has lead to over twelve forced institutionalizations in, shall we say, “the cuckoo’s nest.” This is an attempt to glean from those experiences the essential dos and don’ts of living in a community of the mentally ill and their caregivers. First and foremost, remain calm. Indignation or anger at your predicament will only call attention to your “instability” and lengthen your stay. On the other hand, if you are enjoying the rush of excessive amounts of thorozine, this is a good way to ensure that you won’t “touch ground” mentally for a few more days as the staff will increase your dosage in order to calm you. Or, at least, keep you from acting out in an inappropriate manner and make their jobs easier. Normal anger is not acceptable since it may be a precursor in their minds to you doing harm to yourself or your fellow inmates. Second, don’t worry about your possessions, mortgage payments or work since all will probably be lost. You must adopt a Buddhist philosophy towards the things of this world and not let the injustice of your “time out” of the social mainstream get you down. This took me the longest time to master. But, for peace of mind I recommend chanting that thoughts are merte. Third, be open to new ideas related to you by your companions. If a young man, as happened to me at DeJarnett State Sanitarium in southern Virginia, claims he is an Inca king, don’t take issue with him or ask him to prove it or shut up. Likewise, if from the veranda of some hospital you are close enough to hear the engines on interstate route 81 and an individual spouts off the serial numbers of various truck engines as they roar by, don’t act incredulous or you may have a metal chair thrown at you. If the same individual claims these truck engines are part of Germany’s reparations to us for World War II, don’t contradict or insult him. The rule is let your imagination go with his. Don’t rock the boat. Live and let hallucinate are the bywords for these places. Fourth, women tend to find these places liberating. Beware of sexual advances of teenaged troubled youth. When your freedom is clipped, it creates a bond among the inmates, which may be confused with warmth of a sexual nature. Always find out the age of whoever makes advances to you and since little that is said may be verified unless a visiting family member is present, the best policy is sexual abstinence while being locked up. Unless, of course, it is coming from a “care-giver.” Under those circumstances you must weigh the benefits and consequences of the unprofessional advances for yourself. Once you’ve regained your senses from whatever massive amount of medication they’ve given you, ask to speak to legal aid and file immediately for a writ of habeas corpus. This puts the staff on alert that you know your rights and hurries them to form a diagnosis of what is wrong with you. Show cause or turn over the body, i.e. you’re released. I have been “detained” with some persons not wishing to rush their release. They feel that three squares and a soft bed at this or that institution is better than being out fending for themselves. I, being a robust soul, have always sought the “writ” not wishing to linger outside the social game of life. Fifth, as regards staff, know that they consider any interaction with you to be like handing out meat to hungry lions at the zoo. Believe it or not loneliness is one of the major characteristics of the cuckoo’s nest and no one knows it better than the people working there. Conversation, the exchange of ideas in a rational manner is the currency of your release and these folks who have chosen this field to work in know the value of being paid attention. Time is what you share with them. Your time is valueless since you are not of this conscious real world. They believe that and recognize that boredom on their part means they are not doing their jobs. I am sure the distinction between those there for help and those there to give it gets blurred. Whose feeling more inadequate; the inmates or “clients” or those there to help, serve or manage them. Sixth, you will meet with a psychiatrist or psychologist during your interment. This is a universal. The mental health system requires that someone with more than a BA degree talk with or observe you. Be aware of body language. If the medication has you slurring words or makes your lips feel like two tires flapping don’t think you will automatically be seen as ill. These are professionals. They discount any physical discomfort they observe in your ability to communicate with side effects of the medication. It’s a new experience to you but believe me it makes no difference to them. You are one of a stream of patients they see and “meds” are the 21-century solution to being chained to the wall that allows them to say they are giving care. Humor is good to show but don’t overdo it or they’ll think admission is a lark. To insure your release they must heal you. This means you must be sick and then get better. Hardened criminals have this down to a science and call it doing “soft time” for their crimes. You must get better or at least act like your getting better. Being lost or confused is not sufficient. If need be throw a tantrum early on in your stay and then resume your passivity. Mental health workers need to think they are doing some good. The mental health profession is not like a general practitioner who can see cause and effect. Help your captor to feel needed, useful. This is a cursory review of the skills and sensitivities you will need to be institutionalized and does not come close to exploring the wealth of experiences I’ve had but, I hope it makes your stay more palatable. 6 Robert Tracy Savidge