I’m not embarrassed anymore about what happens to me in times of stress. It’s simply that I sleep-wake. My dream/nightmare becomes wrapped up into my waking life via a belief system that has buoyed me. My cure for that is to be an atheist and to always regard what my friends say highly. Sometimes their advice and direction is better than my own thinking. So, I want to keep an open mind to the possibility that sometimes the things I think are symbols rather than reality. Reality is connecting and understanding my friends and communicating with them in a way that makes sense to both of us.
            I’m not embarrassed about being dragged off by police and put into a psychiatric facility. Think the police and psychiatrists should be embarrassed about what they’re doing to people. Psychiatrists cause harm and trauma and physical illness to people who just need to be woken from their dream/nightmare. It’s an atrocity.
            I used to be embarrassed. I felt dirty, like the label they’d given me turned me into some kind of ick. The pictures people get of labels like psychotic, schizophrenia etc are mean. They think, ‘It’s really scary when someone’s so out of control they could do anything!’ They say, ‘Those people go attacking people for no reason.’ They say, ‘Don’t want her following her voices that tell her to kill herself.’
            Society’s phobias are just phobias, especially when their fears pertain to me. My friends know that. And if they don’t, they don’t know me well enough. Or, they have a stupid part of their thinking that makes prejudicial leaps and condemns me to something ugly, when all that’s happening is I’m having a dream/nightmare. Everyone has those. They should understand. People who drink alcohol have waking dreams, just that they don’t go on for months unless they’re on an alcoholic bender.
            What happens to me can be easily understood. Everything about me remains the same, except I get a dream/nightmare playing along with my daily life. The two become tangled in times of stress. And it’s easy to wake me up from this, because I know I have a sleep-waking condition that happens periodically.
            I have strange thoughts while I’m sleep-waking, but I’m nothing to be frightened of, or frightened for. People just have to learn to talk sense with me instead of calling psychiatry. They’d never call the police on a drunk friend who insisted on driving, they’d find a way to persuade them not to get behind the wheel. Yet that drunk, is dangerous, I’m not.
            Let’s just say my friends wouldn’t call psychiatry on me. If they did, they’re not friends. They’re too stupid to be my friends. Psychiatry is a big nasty powerful enemy of mine. My friends know that and know that they’re good at talking me out of my very occasional dream/nightmare, just as good as they are of convincing a mate not to drive when they’re drunk.
            People are not embarrassed about getting drunk. If they were they would never drink again. They like the dream-state alcohol gives them. Just, sometimes they need to be looked after.
            I found myself cleaning up my sister Omie’s vomit on night. She couldn’t clean up after herself because she was really drunk. We all look after each other, friends and family. I can understand if someone gets violent, that you call authority. But not just because someone’s said something weird. (I say weird things that pertain to my dream/nightmare when I’m sleep-waking.) Drunks say weird things all the time. And psychiatrists believe that causing trauma to a person helps them. Go figure who is the most embarrassing.