It should be illegal
I'm sitting here
I can just let them
medicate me

after my 'history'

3 months of sleep deprivation

& risperdal

& thorazine sedation

injection

repeated

rinse

repeat

it shoud be illegal

not to mention

that it is wrong

I remember I remember I remember I forget

I once had reached the center

then I had to give up my rights

I was fifteen &

How old were you?

I wasn't raped, I told her

I wasn't raped

For struggling to say it out loud

'but sweetheart' it helps you
helped you

helps you
helped you

what the fuck?

and then the men in white

are all I wait for
day in and day out
could be the men in black

what do I care

they're just men.

She'd kneel by my bed

and it was 'to help me sleep'

they lied to my parents

mental molestation

I imagined that my arm was numb

after my nerves were pinched

I lay on my side in the Quiet Room

ironic

I wouldn't reply

respond to what I denied

reply

not that my rights were there

not when you're fifteen

and your parents are concerned

that you are psychotic

they left me there all day

every day
It took 9 weeks

to 'fix me'

I was fifteen

when they brought me in

catatonic

it wasn't stress

I didn't sleep

the sedation

kept me

they yelled
yelled at me
every minute
It was torture

but here you go

'something to hide;

to depend on'

inhale exhale

inhale

exhale,

stare into the little camera

change locations

move away

never press charges

don't fear the reaper

I hate people like them.

Am i homicidal?

You tell me.

while I choke the last

bit of freedom from your

airways

and I heard voices

when I turned 18

after I learned

they could no longer TREAT me

like a child.

18....and I stoppped

caring

who I was

after you

labeled me

paranoid

bipolar

undifferentiated

schizophrenic.

It was too hard to fight

now it's too easy

to let them win.

 But you won doctor

So don't look pissed when I cry

in your office.